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Our members in New York State are working for equal rights in adoption law and awareness of adoption issues. We are a writing, lobbying and media effort. Contact us at: unsealedinitiative@nyc.rr.com JOAN MORGAN
ELLEN ESSIG
CAROLE L. WHITEHEAD
What is a birthmother? There are so many misconceptions and variables whenever that word "birthmother" is uttered or spewed forth and with such disdain that the word can actually cause someone to gag. The word connotes fear, as in the fear of the unknown. Ask any adoptee about their unknown birthmother and see the reaction on their faces, a reaction of the unknown ghostly woman/girl/child who gave birth to them and then tossed them away with the trash. The adoptive parents fear the birthmother as well. See them cringe when their adopted children raise the issue of their birthmothers. The birthmother is the person who had to keep the secret so that no one would ever know about her hidden hideous past as society demanded. Who invented the words birthmother/birthfather/birthparent and why? It was coined more than 25 years ago by those powers that wanted to disassociate these soon to be childless mothers from the children they had to surrender. It is really a derogatory term after all. The term denied respect to us and lowered our self-esteem to the point where it no longer existed. We were promised that we would forget our so-called "unwanted" children that were tossed out with the trash. In keeping with that frame of mind, Gov. Pataki signed into law on August 6, 2002 replacing the phrase "natural parent" with "birth parent" in each respective section of the domestic relations law, the social services law, the insurance law and the surrogate's court procedure act. This was kicking around the Assembly since 1995 at the urgency of adoptive parents who felt stigmatized by the use of "natural parent" and their feeling that they were then "unnatural". The justification behind that is that the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws specifically states in its Uniform Adoption Act that it does not refer to a child's parents at birth as the "natural" parents because to do so might imply that it is "unnatural" to be an adoptive parent(s). Again, the fact that we were the natural parents is no longer considered acceptable. We should only be looked upon as the birth parents so that adoptive parents can believe in the fallacy that after birth, we are rendered moot. In reality, the adoptive parents can now be referred to as the "A" parents and the natural parents as the "B" parents delegating themselves alphabetically as the primary instead of secondary parent. Gov. Pataki stated that the bill does not, and is not intended to, affect in any way the legal rights and responsibilities of children or parents. Indeed, both sponsors (Sen. Balboni (7th S. D.) and Rep. Towns, (54th A. D.) have assured him that under no circumstances should the alteration of language envisioned in the bill be construed as intending to either strengthen or diminish the position or standing of any parent or child relative to any other person in any past, current or future dispute before the courts. Carole Whitehead, Guest Blogger at Adoption Under One Roof: Birth Mothers Punished Before and Continue to Bear the Brunt of NYS Legislators http://ouradopt.com/adoption-blog/sep-2009/guestblogger/guest-blog-birthmothers-punished-and-continue-bear-brunt-nys-leg KATE BURKE
BETTY JEAN (BJ) LIFTON
Joyce Bahr with Dirck Brown (social worker and American Adoption Congress member) at the Williamsburgh Regional Conference (1998). Everyone loved Dirck, our favorite advocate!
Ellen Durant (left), a natural mother who got NY politician Scott Stringer to sponsor our bill in the Assembly in 1993; with Joyce Bahr (third from left).
Books:
The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton
[Out of Print, Limited Availability from Amazon]
Hole In My Heart: memoir and report from the fault lines of adoption by Lorraine Dusky buy from Amazon here I Would Have Searched Forever by Sandy Musser buy from Amazon here American Baby: A Mother, a Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption by Gabrielle Glaser buy from Amazon here Read the Sunday NY Times Book Review: Adoption Used to Be Hush-Hush. This Book Amplifies the Human Toll., and listen to an interview with the author here. You Don't Know How Lucky You Are by Rudy Owens Author's website: www.howluckyuare.com/ Somebody's Daughter by Zara Phillips buy from Amazon here Melinda Warshaw's book A Legitimate Life has recently been published.
To purchase, visit http://melindaawarshaw.yolasite.com/ Building Bridges and Fighting Battles to End Sealed Records in New York - Melinda Warshaw and Joyce Bahr http://endsealednyadoptrecords.blogspot.com/2007/05/building-bridges-and-fighting-battles.html Janine Baer, feminist and
adoption reform activist, writes on the history of sealed records and the detrimental
consequences of years of secrecy to everyone touched by adoption. Her book, "Growing
in The Dark: Adoption Secrecy and Its Consequences", documents adoption law from
the 19th Century to the 21st.
Videos:
Video: CeCe Moore Explains How Genetic Genealogy Works Adoptee Tales from the Sealed Record Era Blogs:
Michael Potter's blog, Navigating the Present and the Future Without A Past: A collection of 12 essays published in The Kindle Edition. "The Last Invisible Continent: Essays on Adoption." http://icartographer.blogspot.com/ Queens Catholic Priest Father Tom Brosnan, a reunited adoptee, blogs on Adoption and Faith. http://adoptionandfaith.blogspot.com/ Adoptionfind blog: Rhode Island adoptees age 25 will get a new law and the right to know! http://adoptionfind.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/ri-adoptees-over-25-years-allowed-original-birth-certificates/ Family Ties Blog: Are Adult Adoptees Worthy of Respect http://nanadays.blogspot.com/2012/11/are-adult-adoptees-worthy-of-respect.html Lost Daughters adoption blog...it's a sisterhood http://www.thelostdaughters.com/ Native New Yorker, Adopted
Person and Experienced Searcher, 1. Make it easy to find
yourself - list your phone number under your maiden name and/or birth name if you are an
adoptee; list your phone as your name when you relinquished. My Mom was in the phone book!  Adoptee Rights Coalition's booth at The National Conference of State Legislatures Annual Conference. The booth brings awareness and the opportunity to meet with legislators from all states. Aside from the booth, there is a march and demonstration. Last year's conference and demonstration was held in Chicago, and activists invite you to attend Atlanta in August of 2013. Stand up for adoption reform and adoptee rights! Recently Jeff Hancock, UI Regional Coordinator from Western New York, became President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition. GOING ON AFTER REJECTION Once hurt, you're likely to be hesitant about taking another chance for reunion... that's understandable. Here are some tips on coping. Allow yourself to be disappointed. Don't punish yourself with expectations of what you think you should be feeling. Remember that everyone gets rejected sometime in life. Realize that the rejection usually has little to to do with you. It has more to do with the person who rejected you. Don't be superstitious. Rationalizing that "this was meant to be" is not a positive approach. Time does make all wounds easier to bear, and the person who rejected you could change their mind after a while. You never completely recover from rejection...you accommodate. You become a different person by living through experience. Also, it
really helps to talk to others who have experienced the same rejection and work through
your anger and grief, which are natural reactions. In Memoriam JEAN PATON 1908-2002 She was ahead of her time in 1954. Challenging the shroud of secrecy surrounding adoption with her book THE ADOPTED BREAK SILENCE, Jean Paton founded Orphan Voyage and the first reunion registry in the USA. She helped thousands search and never stopped speaking out about adoption rights.
Remembering marchers from New York to Washington DC, birth mothers Marilyn Burson and Sharon Bell. Marching to protest laws that present birth parents with a life long sentence of separation from children surrendered to adoption. Nancy Horgan and Judy Taylor also marched. This will soon be changed to include New Hampshire
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Joan Morgan served as our organization's Vice President. She is very generous and has a great sense of humor.
She joined the NYS grassroots lobby effort in 2001. She never stopped except for the two years she spent as a caregiver
to her husband, Dr. Dan Morgan, who joined us to lobby several times. Both she and Dan had previous experience,
Joan because she was a negotiator for the NYS nurses union. She never gave up and continued to volunteer in helping
with making meeting appointments and lobby packets. She believed strongly in the cause and showed it with her generosity.
Ellen Essig is an adoptee, attorney and legal advisor for us. She was a dedicated lobbyist,
adept at speaking up for the rights of adoptees and providing legal advice. She was a big asset
to our lobby team and remains on our Board of Directors.
Ellen was reunited with her birth siblings through DNA testing.
Legislative Liaison for Unsealed Initiative and wife/mother/grandmother.
Adoption reform activist, graduated college at the age of 44 with a career as a paralegal
and now a certified tumor registrar. Has openly worked for open records by meeting with
legislators, appearing on TV, radio, and has had published many letters to the editor.
Took part in first March on Washington, D.C. Ran workshops at triad adoption conferences
as well as led a support group for birthparents on Long Island for many years. At the age
of 18, was sent to an unwed mothers' home on Staten Island. Searched for and has been
reunited with her son since 1985. Went to his wedding along with her husband and her other
children. He has been to theirs. Helped to reunite many mothers and their surrendered
children.
Email: 
Past President,
Author of a number of adoption books: Journey Of The Adopted Self; Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience; Twice Born: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter; and Tell Me a Real Adoption Story (for children).
The Search for Anna Fisher by Florence Fisher, advocate for adoptees' right to know and the need for open records;
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